Rob Gronkowski: Hollywood Pitches for the Former Wildcat's Star Turn

EAST RUTHERFORD NJ - SEPTEMBER 02: Tom Brady #12 and Rob Gronkowski #87 of the New England Patriots celebrate after teaming up for a first quarter touchdown against the New York Giants on September 2 2010 at the New Meadowlands Stadium in East Rutherford New Jersey. (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

Arizona football product turned NFL record setter Rob Gronkowski's pop cultural brand continues to expand, per an Entertainment Weekly report posted earlier on Wednesday.

The Wildcats' touchdown machine is slated for appearance on a FOX vehicle that is the lovechild of "The Dating Game" and "The Voice," since hey, nothing strange about that.

Between that and Gronkowski flexing his acting muscles in a series of videos vying for the Madden cover, it's apparent he has career options beyond the gridiron.

If we're being perfectly honest, Hollywood could not just use Gronk. Hollywood needs Gronk. To the exec who greenlights any of the below projects, royalties can be made payable to AZDesertSwarm.com.

TOUCHDOWN DWEEBUS
Avenue: Film
Genre: Comedy

A fictitious university's Greek council is losing support and funding, thus must cut one of its fraternities. Council members conspire to boot the nerdy Taus, whose cumulative grade point average is making the rest of the houses look bad. But they need a legal way of doing so, which leads to formation of an interfraternal football tournament. The house with the worst finish is cut, and it appears our lovable losers are doomed.

Until...a quiet, 6-foot-6 monster of a nerd is found deep in the library stacks, brushing up on his advanced quantum physics through taped spectacles. Played by Gronkowski, this hulking dweeb leads the nerds to victory -- and teaches the Greek community a thing or two about tolerance.

DON'T GO SPIKIN' MY HEART
Avenue: Television
Genre: Reality

Twenty beautiful women with various degrees of personality flaw move into a mansion together, all contending for the affection of Rob Gronkowski -- or so they think. Gronk leads the ladies through daily football workouts, and the prize at the end is a surprise contract to quarterback a team in an expansion, Lingerie Football team.

Oh, and Gronk's the owner-coach of said team. That's a pretty important plot point.

JUST ONE OF THE GIRLS
Avenue: Television
Genre: Sitcom

Gronkowski's lovelorn brother goes through an ugly separation. The two are meant to be together though, which put Gronk on the case. He rents a place near his sister-in-law, disguised as a sassy, recent divorcee from Texas. His mission is simple: become her new best friend, win her over, and convince her back into her husband's arms.

The sparks fly when Gronk tries to juggle his secret identity with his real life.

COVERT JOCKS
Avenue: Film
Genre: Action

Former professional wrestler Tad Buffman (Gronkowski) and retired quarterback Scooter Steele (Jesse Palmer) both owe the government hundreds of thousands in back-taxes. Uncle Sam strikes a deal with them, offering to waive all penalties in exchange for service in the War on Terror.

The duo goes overseas to infiltrate a weapons smuggler's crime syndicate and save America from certain destruction. Nic Cage appears as Tad and Scooter's hard-nosed chief.

Have a Gronk-worthy Hollywood pitch of your own? Leave a comment outlining it. Bonus points for Nic Cage inclusions.

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