Rob Gronkowski will dance like a "little nutcracker dude guarding the house" -- his words, not mine -- then teach us how to chug water properly.
Rob Gronkowski visited London as his Patriots faced the Rams, and how else would you expect Gronk to introduce American football to Great Britain? Gronkowski employed a toy soldier touchdown dance leading into a Gronk spike to give the fellows across the pond a nice show.
RT @philaperry: Gronk on who he was impersonating on his first TD dance: "That little nutcracker dude that's guarding the house." Of course.— Erik Malinowski (@erikmal) October 28, 2012
Of course, this amount of Patriotism was fitting for a contest in which fans at the London-hosted game held up colored panels to create stars and stripes across Wembley Stadium.
This isn't news. But it is important. Because Gronk very much defines America. He's one of the most popular players in the NFL for that reason. There was also this gyrating dance that followed up Gronk's best performance of the year.
Last week, Rob Gronkowski chugged water (maybe Gatorade?) during the New England Patriots' overtime victory against the New York Jets two weeks ago. We are a week late on this GIF, but this is important.
Gronkowski gave us mortals a lesson in chugging. As you probably knew, Gronk has been here before.
Note Gronkowski's eyes on high alert, scanning for would-be bros ready to challenge him to a chugging contest. Take a look at the technique in which he does not take the Gatorade cup from his lips as he takes small but sizey gulps in a timed rhythm. And notice the angle at which his cup is tipped back, allowing the contents to spill into his mouth but not so much as to make him choke.
Gronk can teach us many things. Every one of them is art. And they're all about America.
This post is sponsored by Jack in the Box.